Sectumsempra
by justthegirl56
Summary: What if Draco had gotten the half blood prince's book? A Hermoine/Pansy/Draco controversy. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just a thought. Kind of an extension of another story I'd started, but I just skipped like halfway through it cause I got bored with the lead-up. It's what I think would have happened if Draco was trying to keep his and Hemoine's relationship secret, if he had been lying to Pansy, and if he had gotten the Half Blood Prince's Potions book; if he had used the spell, instead of Harry using it on him. R&R please! **

Sectumsempra!

"Draco!" Hermione was screaming, voice distorted from the pain. "Draco!" then her voice dropped to a whisper. A plea more painful than death. "Draco. Please."

I was standing, frozen by horror. I was killing her. Literally killing her from the inside out. A mispronounced spell, one that I had thought was a fake. This was all supposed to be fake…

Pansy was pleased, to say the least. "Good work, Draco."

This unleashed the horror that had held me. For the first time in my life, I was pleading. "No. No. No!" I ran to Hermione's side, clutching her hand. She was mouthing silent words, still begging me for death, for something, anything, that would take away the pain.

"Draco, what the bloody hell are you on about? This was the plan!" I asked myself how I had ever liked Pansy.

"I love her! I truly love her, and its not just an act!" I looked at Hermione. Her mouth had stopped moving, and I had the feeling her blood was stop flowing soon.

And then she'd be gone.

For good.

"Go get Snape." Pansy didn't move. She was still processing, trying to figure out if I was playing my part too well. "Get Snape! Pansy, I am begging you. Please." She darted off, though I'm sure had she not been so confused, she would have watched my true love bleed to death at my own hand.

Hermione was staring at me, growing paler every moment. A single tear escaped her eye, the only sign she gave that she had heard every word, that she knew something was not right. I held her hand to my lips, whispering a prayer that she could be healed.

Snape arrived moments after I'd finished, drew his wand, and threw me aside. With every strange word he said, every flick of the wand, her cuts were closing in on themselves. It was like going in reverse; the blood that had poured out was being sucked back in.

I walked down the hall, horrified at myself. Please let her be okay. Please. I didn't know I was being followed until she spoke. "What do you mean, you fell in love with HER? Draco, tell me this is a joke, or I swear!"

I turned on my heels to face her. "Its not a joke. Somewhere along the line, I fell in love. I can't kill her. I won't kill her." I knew the words were useless as they left my lips. Pansy had made up her mind long ago.

She laughed wickedly. "You almost did! You almost completed everything! I only got Snape because I thought he could help get rid of her body! But he healed her. You're not in love with her. You can't be. You love me, damn it! _I _deserve you. Not that filth!"

I drew my wand, pressing it into her throat. "_Never_ call her filth."

"You. Don't. Love. Her." Pansy's voice was a snarl.

"I do. You can't stop me."My wand was still indented into her skin, my fingers twitching, wanting nothing more than to curse her.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I should have known something was up by the way she surrendered so easily, but my mind was still in the bathroom, with Hermione. I lowered my wand and went back to the bathrooms. She was healed. Snape was gone, but the last of her wounds were closing, and she was beginning to breathe again.

I wanted to sob.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Chapter two! The Fat Lady has some suprising antics (which I talk about in my other story, which is about her) that allow Draco to talk to Hermione when he really shouldn't have the right. Please R&R! I don't own anything! P.S.- who else is pumped for Christmas? Cause I was definitley listening to Taylor Swift's "Santa Baby" the entire time I was typing this(:**

Hermione turned to look at me, but her face was emotionless, lifeless. It's like she was still dead. "Draco," a voice called. My arm was pulled from behind. "I'm sorry! Please forgive me." I was being pinned against a wall, kissed hard and long. I reacted, grabbing her waist, wrapping my fingers in her hair.

Until I realized it was Pansy. Unfortunately, that was moments after I'd mumbled "I love you" loud enough for the girl I'd thought I was snogging to hear.

And that girl was still lying on the floor, looking heartbroken.

I pushed Pansy away. But I knew exactly what it looked like. "So will you forgive me darling?" Pansy was still playing. She still thought that my feelings for Hermione could be changed. By her, no less. I slapped her across the face, something I should have done a long time ago. She was taken aback, and slowly put a hand to her now red cheek, disbelieving. "Draco, what the hell!"

"Stop it Pansy! Stop! Get the hell out of here." Hermione was crying now, tears silently caressing her face like tiny fingers. I wondered why she wasn't moving, why she wasn't leaving Pansy and I behind. I dropped to knees at her side. "Hermione," I whispered. "Hermione, are you okay?"

She pushed me away. "Never talk to me again. Never even look at me again you PATHETIC excuse for a PERSON!" She stormed out of the bathroom, choking back sobs until I was far enough away. Which, according to her, would probably never be far enough.

I ran after her, shouting. "Hermione! Wait, I can explain! Would you just WAIT!" She spun through the portrait of the Fat Lady, her voice so distorted that I couldn't catch the password. I pounded the wall next to the Fat Lady. "Damn it! Damn it!" I hit the wall with my fist, hard, and the little pain that I registered felt good. At least it took my mind off her.

Next thing I know, the portrait hole is open.

Wait, what?

She winked at me, and I crawled through, checking behind my back about every two seconds. As I entered the Gryffindor Common Room, I was stunned. Everything but the colors was identical to ours, true. But ours didn't feel….warm. Even walking in as an outsider, there was an immediate feeling of togetherness, like you knew that every single person here would die to protect their friends. Slytherin was a temporary home, somewhere you stay while you're figuring out how to finish the larger plans you've got.

I heard Hermione before I saw her. "….And I just don't know how he could do this! I loved him. I thought he loved me." Why was her voice was muffled?

Oh.

To my left, backs to me, Hermione Granger was being cradled by that complete git Ronald Weasley, crying into his shoulder.

Crying into his shoulder because of me.

I wanted to run up behind her, tear her off of him and press her to me. That's where she belonged. And I belonged to her.

Ron stroked her hair, trying to comfort her. Surely, she had to know he loved her? Not as much as I, but a lot. I wanted to interrupt, but I couldn't find it in me. I wouldn't take away her small piece of joy in a horrifying day. There were a lot of things that I wanted to do, but didn't, because I loved her.

I slid down against the wall, burying my head in my hands, fists clutching chunks of white-blond hair. They didn't really say anything for a while, Hermione just kind of wondered out loud some more about my loyalty to her (which would have been hilarious if it were in any other situation) while Ron attempted to comfort her. After a while, Hermione began to stand, rubbing her eyes, pulling herself back together. "Thanks Ron."

He stayed. "You shouldn't have to thank me for…this. He shouldn't have even been able to do this. He doesn't deserve you Hermione."

She sighed. "You don't know him like I do, Ron. Or like I thought I-" she looked up and gasped, "Draco!"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow. Sorry it's been forever since an update, if anybody actually likes this enough to care. haha I don't really like how I wrote most of this, but I'm not entirely sure how to change it. So if you have any suggestions, by all means, tell me. Anywhos. Chapter 3. I hope you enjoy!(:**

Ron thought fast, if he even thought at all. One minute he's on the couch, holding the girl I love, the next he's breaking my nose. Twice. "Oh, God." I muttered, putting my hand to my face, failing to catch the blood. "Shit."

"Ronald! Stop it! Stop! He's bleeding!" Hermione was yelling at him. That was unexpected. I would've put her on the other side of this bar brawl….

"I can't believe you're sticking up for him. You should want him dead! After what he did to you, what he JUST did-" Ron stopped, something washing over him. I was starting to taste blood running down my throat. "Of course. You're still in love with him! What the HELL is wrong with you?" He stormed off, Hermione calling after him, tears brimming at her lash line.

"He's right you know." She wouldn't meet my eyes, and was instead studying the wallpaper of the Gryffindor Common Room. "There must be something wrong with me." She sighed. "Why are you here, Draco?"

I stood but didn't cross to her. I didn't deserve it. On a side note, my nose bleed was letting up. "Because what I told Pansy back there was true! What I've been telling you this entire time has been true. I love you, Hermione Granger. I can't walk away without convincing you of that."

"Then why did you tell her that you loved her? Why did you kiss her like your bloody life depended on it?"

Shit. She would never believe this one. It sounded false to my own ears, even if I knew it was the truth. "I, uh, thought I was kissing…..you?" It came out as a question. Great.

This time she did laugh; long, loud and melancholy. "Yeah. You thought you were kissing the girl on the floor. Understandable mistake. Why'd you try to kill me Draco? Why was Pansy so happy, talking about a plan?" I visibly winced. "You told her that you didn't love me. That you could-that you WOULD- kill me?"

I was growing desperate. I had to tell her the secret, the reason all of this had come about. The one thing I had been trying to protect her from. "It's because of him. It's because of the Dark Lord. He's going to kill you, 'Mione." And he wants me to do it…..

Her eyes involuntarily widened in fear. "What would he want with….me?"

Now I did move forward, and I crushed her to me, speaking into her hair. How would I ever be able to give this away? "Think about it. You're Potter's best friend. I'm in love with you…."

"But, Draco, wait, you're not…oh my God! You're a Death Eater!" Her voice sounded equally scared and disgusted but she didn't pull away. "How long?" She whispered.

"I've only been one since summer. I didn't want to. I had no choice."

"No." She inhaled, trying to keep tears under control. "How long until he kills me?" Her voice was resigned; I could see her mind making lists of how to accommodate her parents so they wouldn't know she died, how to tie loose ends….

"He's not going to touch you, Hermione. I won't let him."

When she looked up at me, her eyes were red and glistening. "We don't have forever, Draco." Her voice was a whisper.

"I know." Oh, how I knew. I was reminded of it every night in my dreams, every second of every day; I felt like every action I did was a buildup to the rapidly approaching finale, and every move was watched.

But I didn't tell her any of this. "I love you."

"I love you." I kissed her, tasting every fallen tear. "I gotta go," I sighed, our foreheads touching. I could feel her breath on my face.

"Mmm. Me too. I have to go, apologize to Ronald."

"Don't." And there Ron stood, watching our every move from the staircase.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Holy crap. I am sorry that it's been soo long. Time really got away from me, and I'd hit a wall with this. So it's not the greatest, and I'm not sure where I'm taking the story, but ya know..we'll see. Well anyways, I hope you enjoy(:**

I wondered how long he'd been standing there, watching. The entire time? That just seemed rude, but it honestly wouldn't surprise me; hadn't I just been watching him caress her while he thought they were alone? Actually, my first thought had been to tell her not to apologize to him. I held my tongue. She was flustered by his sudden appearance, torn between two lovers as that old Muggle song goes. "R..Ron..what are you doing?" She stumbled over her words.

"I was going to see if you were still down here. Or if he was gone." His face gave away nothing, but his arms were crossed tightly across his chest, and his words were laced with daggers. I knew he loved her. So I almost felt bad, standing her, holding her, right in front of him. Almost.

"I was just leaving, actually," I said after a few silent seconds. Something to bridge the gap, take the heat off of Hermione. "I'll, uh, see you tomorrow." I didn't want to leave, but six years of school had taught me when to step out of a situation. I nodded curtly to Ron.

"G'night Draco." I wanted to tell her I loved her so badly, hold her one more time, comfort her, smell her…_feel_ her. That, of course, was impossible.

Ronald just kept getting in the way.

I walked out of the Common Room into a dark hallway, full of sleeping portraits and silently changing staircases. The Fat Lady looked after me, giving me a knowing look, and turned back to whatever it was she did all night. I got the eerie feeling she knew more about this school than she really should.

The Slytherin Common Room was quiet when I walked in, but I did not feel safe. I never feel safe there. Too many things have happened, too many "accidents" and too many plans. Too many things I had done in these chairs that I ached to take back. I wondered what would've happen had I been put into Gryffindor. Anywhere, really, besides Slytherin. I wondered what it would be like to feel safe.

I wondered what it would be like to be able to love Hermione, and not have to hide it.

I knew Draco meant well by leaving, but I wished he hadn't. It was far too awkward now, and there was a growing hole of loneliness in my chest, overlapping where my heart should be. "I didn't mean to hurt you," I whispered. I couldn't look him in the face, couldn't see the anger there, the pain. The betrayal. That's what would hurt the most.

"That's what they all say, isn't it? 'Sorry' is just a word, Hermione. Just an empty word, an empty apology, and you don't even mean it." I couldn't decide what was behind those words. Is this really what he thought? Was he going to go rant to Harry about this? And what would Harry think? Probably the same as Ron…

"I never said I was sorry." I hadn't fully realized it until I spoke. I never had said I was sorry. "I didn't want to hurt you, that's true. But I'm not sorry that I stopped you from hurting him."

"He doesn't even love you!" I finally looked up, and he looked pained. Physically pained.

"You saw him, Ron. You didn't have to hear a thing to see how much he loves me."

"He doesn't love you. Not like I could." Why is it that boys always want you when they can't have you? I've only been his best friend since first year, and now he decides that I'm worth something. Too little, too late, as that old Muggle song goes.

"But I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with him." My voice was a whisper again, but I forced myself to at least look at him. I owed this boy that much.

"That's where you've gone wrong. Hermione Granger, the girl who plays it safe, the girl who never makes a move without researching it, the girl who always had the answer, the girl who was more afraid of getting expelled than dying first year, for Merlin's sake, has finally gone wrong. And it's on something really, really big." He shook his head. "Good night." I watched him climb the stairs, felt tears prick at the back of my eyelids, felt a lump form in my throat, and all the doubts and fears of the world come crashing down around my mind. Everything he had said was true, besides the fact that I've gone wrong. But what if he was right there, too?

What if Ronald Weasley, the boy who couldn't read tea leaves, the boy who never thought more than five steps ahead, the boy who waited his entire life to tell me he wanted me, and who never knew the assignment, was right? What if it all finally came together?

I fell asleep with doubts rolling around in my mind like marbles on a table top. Restless, chaotic, and constant.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi! Sorry it's been forever. haha this is really short, and I wrote it quite fast but it felt like a good place for a cutoff. Maybe a faster chapter 6 update? We'll see... enjoy!**

I didn't sleep that night. The few instances when I did, all I could do was dream. And they weren't about Draco; it was Ron. All Ron. The entire night, all I could see was his bloody face telling me I'd gone wrong, that he loves me, to dump Draco and fix my life.

The entire night, all I could do is fret about him being right. Hadn't Ron been the expected one? The person I was supposed to love? The easy route, the safe way, the one I could depend on?

But God, I loved Draco. Could I really turn my back on that?

I didn't sleep that night. All I could think about was what Ron had said to her after I left. He loved her, I know. No doubt he told her that. That I was a stupid choice, that I would leave her, that I would hurt her and it was just an act.

The thing was….he was right. It had been an act. I had been told to get Hermione Granger to fall in love with me, to bring her to the Dark Lord, and then he could have the perfect bait to get Potter.

But I'd fallen in love, a classic tale of a mistake, and this was all a mistake, a horrible, horrible mistake. I had to break up with her.

No, that wouldn't do.

I had to break her. Break her beyond repair, destroy that heart, shatter it into a thousand sharp shards, deep red and dark black. Then she could be with Ron, and I'd be alone forever, and all would be as it should be.

I didn't want to. Believe me, I swear. I didn't want to.

I didn't want to.

Hearts are meant to be broken and fixed and I can't fix this, but he can, and I won't be the reason she dies, and I won't kill her, and I can't live with myself after this, but she won't miss me, she'll hate me, and she can go to Ron, and he can love her, and she can love him, and I'll be alone. Forever. And Pansy will be happy and I'll be welcomed back a hero, and everything will be as it should be. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will kill me but it won't matter because I won't have a heart after I destroy hers, and all I want to do is die, but if I live I'll have to kill her, and I won't do that, I can't do that, I love her.

My mind wouldn't shut up.


End file.
